NEW BOOK: Astral Dick by Toylit !!!Posted: October 9, 2009
Astral Dick is a “whodunit” involving a police psychic, Cap’n, and his “paranormal guinea pig,” Lieutenant Leo Fleck. Together they are investigating a string of brutal killings centered around the temple of a rogue religious cult and an artsy-fartsy, open-mic, poetry café.
A different print by artist Norton Wisdom is glued onto every book cover!
From “Act 2, Scene 6″
Leo – So what’s all this about an “operation”? Just the facts please.
Bunny – Well, it all began when Marlo hit puberty. Honey, show the man your tits.
Marlo reveals that one of her breasts is definitely larger than the other one. Leo doesn’t even look.
Leo – Yeah, yeah. One of her boobs is visibly larger than the other. I looked down her shirt as I was astrally projecting.
Marlo – He knows EVERYTHING!
Leo – I’m a dick. It’s my job to know stuff.
Bunny – So about a month ago, she went to the doctor to get her knockers adjusted. And before she went into surgery, I told her… what did I tell her?
Marlo – “The problem is all in your HEAD! If somebody loves you, they are going to love you, lopsided titties and all.”
Bunny – So off she goes to get a boob job, and what does she come home with? A LOBOTOMY!
Marlo – ACTUALLY, I just had ONE lobe done to see if I liked it. So it’s only HALF a lobotomy.
Leo – I see. And how has it affected her performance?
Bunny – Well, her motor skills are okay, but it seems to have affected her “initiative.”
Leo – Meaning?
Bunny – She makes a passable waitress, but sometimes she gets stuck.
Marlo – Sorry! Sometimes I get stuck!
Bunny – Except for her poetry. That’s gotten UNSTUCK. It just flows and flows. All this bizarre amazing imagery just pours out of this hole where her brain used to be.
Marlo – Poetry is my LIFE!
(c) BRASS TACKS PRESS